abijam

Archive for February, 2016|Monthly archive page

Love

In Uncategorized on February 25, 2016 at 10:24 pm

Love is a Netflix series in which Gillian Jacobs plays a lady with drug, alcohol and sex and love addiction.

I watched it thinking wow this lady is a messed up narcissist who needs to grow up.

Then I continued watching it and realised I recognised her in myself.

i have been drinking again and I have been blackout drunk within the last week.

i have also got in touch with my ex and have arranged to meet him.

i almost went to an AA meeting and then bottled it.

maybe my addictions run deeper than alcohol. Maybe I am scared of who I am and facing up to it.

maybe I am too open and set myself up to fail everytime I open my mouth.

maybe I should just deal with everything alone and hope it works.

i want someone to tell me I need help and to stop drinking or I will die during a blackout. I want someone to tell me that I am capable of never drinking again and that just because I have failed over ten times before, it’s okay to keep trying.

its okay that all my friends drinks and I no longer want to.

 

someone please tell me this.

Advertisements