abijam

Day Two

In Alcohol, Drink, Drinking, mental health, sober, Sobriety on August 11, 2015 at 10:10 pm

So its day two of being sober and that seems pretty feeble considering a couple of months ago I was close to achieving a whole year sober.

But still, I am here, and I am trying again.

The hangover has almost worn off now; the panicky feeling has gone, but I am still feeling drained and a little weaker than usual. I get randomly hot and then cold. I feel like I need lots of food to rebuild myself back to what I was last week.

Isnt it amazing that one night of drinking can do so much damage to you physically and to your spirit.

I went to yoga tonight and I lay down on the floor just focussing on my breathing.

I suddenly remembered that despite everything I put myself through I am still alive.

Whatever alcohol has put me through, whatever anyone thinks of me, whatever I think of myself my heart still beats and my lungs still work and I have another chance to make peace with my past and move forward.

Its day two and I am at the foot of a huge mountain and I know that its going to take hard work, and a big lifestyle change to get anywhere near the top.

I am going to have to ruthlessly stop hanging around with toxic people, even if it isnt their fault that they dont understand my situation. I am going to stop going to places where getting drunk is the only activity that happens there. I am going to write every day in order to document my progress and I am going to attend an AA meeting as soon as I can.

One day at a time.

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  1. Hi abi
    I don’t know if you remember me but I used to leave comments on this blog and follow your story quite avidly. Then I stopped blogging and haven’t been back to the blogosphere (hate that word) since April 2015. I suddenly thought tonight, I wonder how abijam is doing. I’m now up to speed with what you’ve written but that only goes up to August 2015 when you slipped up and were humiliated and ashamed for drinking again, and full of hopes. I wondered how those hopes were going, and how things are for you now with regards to how you feel about your drinking and life in general.
    Best,
    Therapy journey

  2. Hi TJ
    Nice to hear from you again!
    Last year was one slip up after the other.
    On 1st January 2016 I decided to give sobriety another chance again, but I have decided not to dwell on it too much, not to talk about it too much or apply too much pressure on myself.
    I simply want to be healthy and not condemn myself to a life of focussing on the problem I have.
    It hasn’t been long and I have already experienced temptations but that’s nothing new.
    I just keep reminding myself that I feel better when I don’t drink.

    How is everything on your end?
    Abijam

    • Hey, I never got a notification that you’d replied ^__^

      I completely understand, and it seems to obvious now you’ve said it. I am also not sold on the whole “focussing intently on the problem and chronicling every step of it” type thing. Especially when you’re actually publishing that, and goodness knows who might be reading it, and that produces a whole load more anxieties.

      Some things are better in shades of grey, not black and white.

      things are good for me. The main news is that i’ve decided to change my career and have created a website and met with people that I want to work more with to find out how the biz works. the biz is photography and realising that I could do this for my career was quite a big shock! in a good way!

      I blog about my chosen subject now, photography, and I do more for my actual self than ever before, yet I like you don’t feel the need to analyse and describe every little detail.

      I am doing a 10 week psychodynamic counselling course and don’t feel the need to even mention it publicly anywhere. so there you go.

      Gonna read your latest post now.

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